Because they inspire heart-warming articles such as this one:
NEW YORK – Crisscrossing the country in corporate jets may no longer fly in Detroit after car executives got a dressing down from Congress. But on Wall Street, the coveted executive perk has hardly been grounded.Six financial firms that received billions in bailout dollars still own and operate fleets of jets to carry executives to company events and sometimes personal trips, according to an Associated Press review.
OK, maybe just drizzle woman. Or 70% chance of showers woman. I took this test, you see (I am inordinately fond of all sorts of tests). I saw it and I simply couldn’t resist. Why I took it, I have no idea. I just had to know. Should you be similarly moved to take the test for some ridiculous reason (maybe you’re being held at gunpoint?) here’s the link: the Autism Spectrum Quotient.
And here are my troubling results:
If you’re any good at simple math, you can see right away that I’m well on my way to crossing the border between “normal” and autistic. On the one hand: F***!!!. On the other hand: whatever, dude. At this point, I’ve probably accumulated half the diagnoses in the DSM-IV (not that 302.3 one though, I swear!). So what’s another one, right?
She walks in a world of make believe
And because it’s all pretend she knows
That anything is possible and all of it is probable
Nothing’s set in stone and nothing in particular matters
But waves
Pictured on the left is retired Navy Adm. Dennis Blair, Obama’s choice to head up national intelligence. Look at him! I mean, is it just me, or was the guy genetically engineered for the job? If you had to imagine someone in charge of the CIA, would this guy’s exact image not pop into your head?
Come on, really look at him. He doesn’t just have a square jaw, his head is a perfect rectangle. Super-high forehead literally translates to “brainiac”. Straight eyebrows means laser-like focus. Very long, very straight nose, somewhat flared? That’s almost too easy: sense of superiority, ruthlessness, and cunning. Wide, straight mouth, relaxed closed smile – means calm, cool, collected confidence. This guy never breaks a sweat.
They say that after many years, people sometimes start resembling their dogs. Or their spouses. Maybe in this case, it’s their jobs.
They should give out awards for these. Take a look at these Real Life Dilbert Manager Quotes. And you thought the comic strip was funny? The truth is even funnier than fiction. Here’s one of them:
“This project is so important that we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.” (Advertising/Marketing Manager, United Parcel Service)
See that last post? Forget my “right on” to Blagojevich. His political hijinks (lowjinks in this case?) was all over the news last night. He’s also super tight with SEIU. As a former employee of SEIU, this doesn’t surprise me. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of good folks at SEIU – the organizers with whom I worked were some of the most dedicated, hard working, good-hearted people I’ve ever met. It’s just that the top of the organization is bad news (i.e., Andy Stern, whom I affectionately prefer to call Andy Stalin). I wholeheartedly believe in the idea of a union, but I also believe that it should be entirely run by members, not paid staff. The sole purpose of a union is representation of employees. It should therefore consist of and be run by employee members. This is not the case with SEIU, which is why so much strife and controversy exists within the organization – Stern’s agenda is constantly clashing with the will of the member employees he claims to represent, while they’re the ones who are paying his salary. It seems to me that he’s simply using his position for power, to push his personal ideology regardless of the wishes of those he represents, and of course, the pay and connections ain’t bad either. This whole business with Blagojevick only reinforces the suspicions I had while working for them.
Good ol’ Bank of America gets $25 billion and cancels financing for Republic Windows & Doors, resulting in employee layoffs with 3 days notice and no severance or vacation pay. 250 employees are taking part in a peaceful sit-in to protest. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is apparently outraged enough to have threatened to halt all state dealings with Bank of America (right on Rod!). Rev. Jesse Jackson delivered turkeys to the workers on the site. With such myopic business practices, it’s no wonder BOA needed a bailout in the first place.
I was standing in line at AutoZone to trade in my car battery, and the guy in front of me at the register was asked if he had an AutoZone rewards card. It just got me thinking of the frustration I experience – no matter where I go anymore, if it’s retail – it’s the same old question: “Do you have a (fill in the blank) rewards card?” And my answer, with few exceptions, is no. No, I don’t have a Staples/CVS/AutoZone/Blockbuster/Barnes & Noble/Best Buy/etc. rewards card. If I did, I’d need a separate wallet or I’d look like I had a mini deck of cards hanging from my keychain. I have a grand total of four: Fry’s, Safeway, Borders, and Ulta – and I’m considering ditching the latter because the rewards, or rather lack thereof, doesn’t seem to be worth the space that the card takes up in my wallet. They should rename it “I’m the suckah, who shops at Ulta” card, because apparently all it’s good for is to have an easy way for their marketing folks to rack up personal information and shopping habits about me.
Of course, ever the value-conscious consumer, when I’m actually at the register I always feel a momentary pang of regret over not having that card that might save me a buck or two. I figure there’s gotta be others like me out there, which is where I got the idea.
My observations:
1) Retailers want consumers to participate in these reward programs: partly for loyalty, and also to get detailed marketing information.
2) Consumers want to participate for the discounts. But all those freakin’ cards, man!
A dismal scenario. Shopper A sadly says no to Store B’s rewards card, already wistfully regretting a bleak future of lost discounts, while Store B hangs his head in shame, wondering where he went wrong.
Enter Third Party Marketing Company C, a.k.a. “RewardCo”, on his gallant white steed. He surveys a bunch of consumers and finds that they would be more than happy to use a rewards card at not only Store B, but also Stores A, C, D, E, and F, all the way up to and including Store Z, if they could all be consolidated into just one rewards card for convenience purposes. RewardCo then approaches Stores A through Z and makes them an offer they can’t refuse:
“We can quadruple your rewards card consumer base.
Furthermore, we can provide you with not only the demographics and shopping habits of your customers at your store, but also a detailed report of what they buy at all the retailers in the network.
Last but not least, you’ll no longer have to do any of this in house – you can outsource it to us and we can do a better job of it – we’re doing it for every participating major retailer in the U.S., it’s the only thing we do, so it’s what we do best – your customers will be thrilled.
Oh, and did we mention all the other major participating retailers? You don’t want to be the odd man out and lose all those sales, do you?
It’s a win/win/win: shoppers are happy, the retailers are happy, and Third Party Marketing Company C, a.k.a. RewardCo is busting a gut all the way to the bailed out bank of its choice. Someone, please, steal this idea and make it happen.
Those who know me well know that of the five things I would have to have if stranded on a deserted island, one of them would be Delicious (see sidebar for some of my tags). Aside from Google, it’s my home on the internet.
Since the election and all the ensuing Obamania however, I’ve been looking for a good way to bookmark Obama news. Something that would allow me to track everything he does in office, editorials, timelines, and articles. Maybe even an online scrapbook of some sort, for posterity. And I’d also need a news feed aggregator to bring the items to me.
Well, the good folks at Sunlight Foundation must have been reading my mind, because today they have made available My Political Notebook, which allows you to save all kinds of content – links, vidoes, blog posts, and files via bookmarklet. Plus you can add notes and tags.
To see it in action, check out Donny Shaw’s Political Notebook.
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